The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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