What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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