It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he just fucked me for my cheese.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
