Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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