mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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