You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
