Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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