I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
