I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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