You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
