..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize