A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I miss vodka workout Fridays
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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