we made out on top of his cat.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
