suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
