i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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