I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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