New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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