More tranny stories later!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
