A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i believe in u and ur pee
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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