Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
