haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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