Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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