Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
honey bunches of taint.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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