it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
