wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pants are for mortals
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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