Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
