I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
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I want her autograph on my taint
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I party with great urgency now.
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