apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize