nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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