people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
