..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
