doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
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HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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