Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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