hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
