He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
