good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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