the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
operation harelip BJ is a go
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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