new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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