just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
