maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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