sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
