wake up i wanna do it froggy style
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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