walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So vagazzling was a success
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