Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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