I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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