man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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