Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
