i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
