I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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