I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
