its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
