Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
