We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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