Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
