I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
