Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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