you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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