Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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