I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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