i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she peed on how many people?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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