if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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