I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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