I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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