It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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