about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
