have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
