She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
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WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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