I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
jump out the window naked night went bad
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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